Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Great News From the Campaign Front!
You may have noticed the recent inactivity from the Holbrook Campaign and the Social Ironist Party. This is because we’ve been busy perfecting our newest weapon. You see, Holbrook has a brain tumor. That’s right, a fucking brain tumor.
Not only will this help us to earn the sympathy vote in the upcoming election, it will also allow Holbrook to overshadow any issue brought up in debate. Want to talk about zoning laws? We don’t. In the grander scheme of things they’re really quite irrelevent - maybe you should get some perspective on things, like by getting cancer.
It takes a sick and twisted person to exploit something like cancer for political purposes. We are those people.
Somehow, Holbrook is keeping his sense of humor through all this. I know I would be curled up in a little ball, weeping, sucking my thumb and wallowing in self-pity. In fact, I think I’ll wallow in self pity just because I have a friend with cancer. Poor me, I’m worrying about my friend with cancer - how do you think that makes ME feel? Not good, I tell you, so why don’t you bake some lasagna or a casserole of your choosing and deliver it to my doorstep.
