Candidate Holbrook’s Sex Life

I assure you that Candidate Holbrook’s sex life will make for an intriguing political docu-drama.  Whether or not he may or may not have had sexual relations with those women is really dependent on the woman in question.  From the corn fed skanks of Hamilton to the teenage emo princesses of Indian Hill, there’s a good chance that Sean Holbrook has, or will soon, get in their panties, most likely in the back seat of his 1988 Ford Tempo. 

Do you hear that, wealthy fathers of Indian Hill?  Your daughters are in jeopardy...unless you’d like to contribute to the Social Ironist Party, in which case your daughter will be granted immunity from the raging Holbrook-o-mania Sex Machine.  Seriously, there’s a donation button below - I know it’s kind of subtle and hard to find, but don’t worry!  Soon we’ll have sparkling, Red White and Blue donation buttons covering our page so prominently that even the biggest, blindest idiot in all of Indiana could find it.  In the meantime, show us how smart you are by locating the donation link we do have and pouring some cash into it, so we can make our movie instead of inpregnating your daughters. 

Posted by on 05/13 at 12:46 AM

What message do you have for all the parents of boys?

Posted by  on  05/13  at  06:30 AM

We offer this simple formula for all parents.  Simply check the gender of your child and apply the S.I.P parenting principles accordingly:

Sons:  let them do whatever they want, encourage them to pick up chicks and kick ass

Daughters: lock them up in a tower, put a burka over their heads.

Posted by  on  05/13  at  11:59 AM
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